I watched Alton Brown's Good Eats about nachos recently and he blew my fucking mind by arranging each chip with its own little pile of individual toppings before baking them. I'm willing to grant him that such an insane amount of extra preparation probably does result in a superior individual chip experience, but when…

Don't forget it.

Ugh, why can't he just kill eight drifters and arrange their limbs into the form of a pentagram like William Goldman did?

You all rightfully have zero upvotes.

The movie itself, however, mostly consists of 3 hours of Shrek attaching balloons to various unconscious assorted dragons, billy goats gruff, and leprechauns.

It's the word for when you shoot a defensive mist of blood out of your tear ducts, like that one kind of lizard.

Why, do you have a brick of oily salt?

There's no legal requirement or anything. The Coens put a thing at the top of Fargo saying it was based on actual events, but that's not even a little bit true. They said Blair Witch was real, too.

If you'll forgive me for indulging in my long-held thoughts about why Brent Spiner is consistently turning in the best performance in TNG- despite everyone (Data included) constantly insisting that Data doesn't have emotions, it's clear fairly early on that he does- he just doesn't understand how to interpret them. He…

He never uses the Cuck Man power, oddly enough.

To be fair, those factory workers who've been mangled by rogue Honda assembly arms have a lot more legitimate reason to be afraid of robots than people who fell down at the circus as children do being afraid of clowns.

How did you know my family motto?

And robot schoolboys will perform well on standardized testing year after year after year without replacement, unlike inferior human children, which is good for the economy.

“a normal, upbeat, schoolboy robot who has…a regular robot boy life.”

But you already hunted those birds to extinction.

My understanding of kangaroos is that, when relaxed and at ease, they will be observed hitting a boxing speed-bag with their feet.

Yeah PETA can definitely seem overreactive when they're complaining about the plastic fur on little space marine figurines, but this kangaroo looks fucking terrified.

What, you're not totally intrigued by a main character who, in their first scene in the trailer, deliberately rips off and then berates a service worker for their perceived stupidity in letting themselves be duped?

I think Hugh Jackman is great in it (he's pretty much great in everything) but holy cow does that movie completely disappear into its own head, only to emerge as some kind of weird time bubble floating through space that gives your wife cancer.

There's been an ongoing limbo contest on the lawn of the White House ever since Grover Cleveland's presidency, and Obama's got really strong calves so they lowered the bar for him further than any other president.