"Come on, Waylon.  Make love to me the way you used to."
"No."
"It's that horrible Mr. Burns, isn't it?"
[screaming] "You leave Mr. Burns out of this!"
"Smithers! Smithers!"

@avclub-f979394c282f4c89bbd91e8ef5589479:disqus I took my handle from "Stark Raving Dad", where Lenny or Carl offer Homer a pink donut for wearing a pink shirt and Homer retorts, "Just because I'm wearing a pink shirt doesn't make me some kind of….pink donut eater." It might have been the writers' intent for it to be…

Amen, brother. But I have to give a shout out to his legendary gluttony at the Frying Dutchman (bringing entire steam trays to his table, eating a plastic lobster). And the hilarity of the subsequent trial testimony.

That used to be my avatar. Hence my handle.

He was hired under Project Bootstrap. Thank you President Ford.

But he works harder than a Japanese beaver.

Eight pesos won't even get you some Chiclets anymore.

Slavery! Fuck Yeah!

BALSAM SPECIFIC!? While we're burning money, why don't we give her a curative galvanic belt too.

@avclub-34a0cc9e710ab7fc376d918356d4a6e5:disqus Crap

Don't forget to give her Smeckler's powder.

Grandpa: I first took a fancy to Mrs. Bouvier because her raspy voice reminded me of my old Victrola. Oh, it was a fine machine with a vulcanized rubber listening tube which you crammed in your ear. The tube would go in easier with some sort of lubricant like linseed oil or Dr. —
Gracie Films woman: Shhhh
Grandpa: Oh,…

Too soon.

We should have treated him better. Or not.

Damn I never noticed that. Guess Burns really loves those Bouvier women. Has there ever been a later episode where he falls for Patty or Selma?

Marge, I think I hate Ted Koppel. No wait, I find him informative and witty. Goodnight.

Hello Grampa, my old friend,
Your busy day is at an end.
Your exploits have been sad and boring,
They tell a tale that's worth ignoring.
When you're alone, the words of your story
Will echo down the rest-home hall,
'Cause no one at all can stand
The sound of Grampa

"Marge, please, old people don't need companionship.  They need to
be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients
they have that might be extracted for our personal use."
"Homer, would you please stop reading that Ross Perot pamphlet?"

No one ever lost money underestimating the intelligence of the American people.

Ahhhhh my eyes. I just saw the World Trade Center towers on television. My eyes! It burns, it burns.