a robotic replica of President William Howard Taft goes on the fritz,
running roughshod through the White House and nearly strangling the
actual president

I'm not a particular fan of Vince Vaughn, but I have little doubt he could do a worthwhile performance (much like various past comedians I dislike who've somehow managed great roles with quality serious/disturbing material: Adam Sandler, Robin Williams, Jim Carrey)

Come on, don't leave us hanging here!

I've done a fair amount of it - there are just a decent number of games that I either don't end up liking, or like but know I'll never feel the urge to play again. I don't trade things in all that often, but I've managed to get a couple big-name releases for negative money after trade-ins, without getting rid of too…

Pfff, I know, right? Like anyone could walk for twelve hours.

Thanks, Dave! You really are the man!

But whatever you do, don't Bing "Purge".

the Nitzschean abyss of its “bottomless” fries

"Trumbo…you can do magic things!"

Heh, looks like my choice of living sad and alone has paid off once again.

They all died of old age and the Family Guy writers swooped in.

But does he have a degree? Publications in refereed journals?

"As the defendant stopped watching partway through the movie, the sentence is to watch Expendables 3 in one sitting with no breaks. May God have mercy on your soul."

The network execs at Fox?

That's the level of cultural awareness you need to write something like this. Bart, he skateboards and makes prank calls. That Homer fellow, he likes donuts and drinks some kind of beer. We'll have to look that up. Anyway, that's pretty much done, let's knock off early today.

Did you ever see that Halloween sequel where somebody made a TV special designed to kill millions of kids when it aired? It's like that, only worse.

THAT'S what these shows need! COCAINE!

No, I'll have just as much disdain for it then as I have for Family Guy and The Simpsons now.

That might've been funny, almost, if Bob's Burgers wasn't more enjoyable than anything either show has put out in many years.

The Simpsons and Family Guy aren't so much peanut butter and another brand of peanut butter these days, they're more like that weird government issue "peanut butter" that goes out to food pantries and a handful of peanuts somebody dropped on the sidewalk two months ago that have been repeatedly stepped on by various…