Bathroom floor, slippery and cold,
my foot took flight 
my head - DASH - hit the open toilet
bruised ribs and tailbone
i am president of being a clumsy idiot.

ugh. WHY

ugh. WHY

Or he's one of the X-Men.

Ouch. My ribs are horribly bruised right now and this made me laugh in the most painful way.

Was his name Matt and was there a rumor that he had pubic lice?  Cause if so, we went to the same middle school.

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING IN THIS THREAD?

Didn't one of the Shins guys get arrested for lady-beating?  And the Mamas and the Papas guy drugged and raped his daughter.  And Tommy Lee knocked around Pamela Anderson. And supposedly, Jackson Browne beat his wife…before she killed herself. I think he hit Darryl Hannah, also. And I seem to remember stories of James…

A chicken stir fry with no sauce?  Were there at least some spices involved?

A chicken stir fry with no sauce?  Were there at least some spices involved?

I know I wouldn't. And not just b/c I don't live in New Hampshire.

I know I wouldn't. And not just b/c I don't live in New Hampshire.

I don't know why, but the sentence  "Uh oh, Grandma says she's going to cut off Amanda if she marries that black guy" made me giggle like an idiot.  I think it's the name Amanda.

I don't know why, but the sentence  "Uh oh, Grandma says she's going to cut off Amanda if she marries that black guy" made me giggle like an idiot.  I think it's the name Amanda.

I can't imagine making up horrible things about my parents and sharing them with the public.  I can't even write things in fiction that resemble actual family events because I'm afraid of hurting my mother and setting off the sheer panic she feels at other people judging her.

I can't imagine making up horrible things about my parents and sharing them with the public.  I can't even write things in fiction that resemble actual family events because I'm afraid of hurting my mother and setting off the sheer panic she feels at other people judging her.

I think you've got to give her til at least 22 before you really start judging the person she's become.  Up until that, it's still a lot of experimentation.

Oh, wow. Good one. Can't believe nobody mentioned this one yet.

She sucked.  Vapid and clueless and shrill and preachy. Ugh.

Nah. Probably would have focused first on the well-being of the kid, getting him out of there and taking him to the police and then to Tasty Freeze or something.  He'd make sure the kid was safe with his mom or the cops whatever and then he would have driven alone around Dillon, grinding his jaw, and staring intensely…