Might I suggest "cuntscab"? There's no way anyone's seeing the positive side of that epithet.

Yup… neat fact that I think I picked up from a Chuck Klosterman book – it was originally (Tracii) Guns and (Axl) Rose's band.

So… what's that other Backyardigan supposed to be? You know, the one that kind of looks like a bug but doesn't have 6 legs?

@avclub-da2cfbc3287da0f4f985aa7350b8831b:disqus  – Second Cup is my preferred coffee chain (and it's a pretty great business success story – one of the founders was a homeless junkie before getting his shit together and opening a coffee shop with one of his buddies) but there isn't one within a 20 minute drive of my…

As mentioned, I'm in Canada where Tim Horton is king and in our office your choice of coffee is a major political statement. If you choose Starbucks you're an elitist (and possible American!), while all the regular folks drink their double-double from Timmy's like good Canadians should. It's a bit ridiculous, but…

I work in a suburban/industrial Canadian wasteland, so sadly, Tim Hortons and Starbucks are the only coffee options anywhere near my office. Given that choice, I opt for Starbucks every time (although I always just get a plain old coffee).

I'd probably just go back to yesterday and eat that roast beef sandwich again three times.

NEVER FORGET

CC - you deserve a mention solely for your fine work curating that ridiculously long-running thread about the Piña Colada song.

I don't think anyone's mentioned Cybersybil yet, but we certainly should. Because of boobs and metal.

Karla Ha Ha was the other one i was trying to think of… I think the same guy was also Coldstream or something for a while.

My two favourite teams are the Washington Generals and the Toronto Maple Leafs.

That sounds a lot like me right now… I don't watch much TV or many movies these days, but I prefer procrastinating over doing my job so I read tons of articles about shit I may never get around to seeing while I'm at work. Some day I'll start getting caught up and I'll go back and comment on all the 20 year old movie…

Ha… I just mentioned both @avclub-84ca205fe6bc691c41c3bfe5a2820a15:disqus  and Bellona on another thread about AV Club ladies who no longer post here.

Well I hope you've learned your lesson, mister.

I'm reasonably non-hideous.

Are we talking about "A Grey Man Writes" and all the variations of "Caret" who kept getting banned? Because honestly I almost miss that guy.

*Makes mental note that Morgendorffer is a chick*

Sometimes I use my left hand and pretend it's one of my other aliases.

I'm going to go ahead and be that guy: