Don't worry about me—the Cut Man's time is coming. Just waiting for the phone to ring…

Oh don't worry about me, Donna, the Cut Man's not going anywhere. I'm always around—lately I've been trying to get the number of that Miss Patty over on the Gilmore Girls comments? She's a saucy one, that Patty—kinda reminds me of the first and fourth Mrs. Cut Mans.

Yes sir!

Wait a minute—Sports Night was cancelled? Well it's no wonder they haven't called me for thirteen years. I just thought there wasn't a lot going on in the world of boxing. What a relief!

Someone serving pancakes, Dan? Because I'm in!

Yes sir!

There's nothing quite so poetically beautiful as the platonic love between two male friends, Donna. In fact Dan and Casey remind me a lot of myself and Rocky Marciano back in the day. I'll never forget what a crossroad Rock was at when he was scheduled to fight his childhood hero, Joe Louis himself. Why, he was so…

Soooooo, Miss Patty… by chance, are you a boxing fan? (uses breath spray, adjusts bow tie)

I speak from experience when I tell you that the Phanatic is a phantastic phighter! He has a mean jabbing left hook!

You know me too well, Donna!

That Emily sure is a dish, Casey!

That Emily sure is a dish, Casey!

Yes sir!

Porn stars! Boy, that sure takes me back, Casey…

(slowly wakens from a drunken stupor, rubs eyes wearily, looks around)

Thank YOU Casey!

Yes sir!

These crazy kids and their relationships these days, am I right? Things were much simpler back in my day, you know. In fact I'm reminded of a similar disagreement I once had with the first Mrs. Cut Man. Rocky Marciano was scheduled to fight Don Mogard, and Mrs. Cut Man insisted I skip it to visit her sister in…

Yes sir!

Hello Donna, from beautiful Saint Tropez, where the temperature is a balmy 92 degrees, and the woman are outta this world! Just wanted to say thanks for this fond look back at my finest hour—I still remember it like it was yesterday. Whatta fight! What glitz! What glamour! And the shrimp cocktails—oofah!
I hate to…