How come I can only hit "reply" to certain comments and not others?
@Jean-Luc Prickhard

I'm ALWAYS working. This is a full-time job for me, and none of you bastards has shown the slightest bit of appreciation. I'll just quit, and then things will be back to the way they were a week ago before I showed up to spread joy in your lives. Would you like that?

@This Just In
"Ye" is old-timey English for "you," I believe. So if I address Mr. West as "ye" (as in, "Did no one tell ye that suit makes ye look like Pee Wee Herman?") it makes me a ren faire dork, not a pathetic hipster fuck.

It's true, you all look alike to me, aside from skin color. Pink ones and brown ones and yellow ones, all of you with shudder-inducing smooth and hairless hides…blech! Well, except for Italians. They're okay, you can actually stroke their fur.

Didn't see this.
I'm sick of movies based on old TV shows. Who did Wahlberg play, anyway? He's too thin for Rerun.

Nice try, but
Sorry, Blade. You have to pay your taxes, no matter how much people like your album. And the cops will still recognize you, even in that Pee Wee Herman costume.

I thought Harry Potter was the grouchy old colonel on M*A*S*H*
That's Radar on the left, right? I also see David Warner playing a child molester, and a girl. He's probably going to molest her and Radar will tell the colonel. The colonel will take David Warner home and a bunch of roofers will try to break into his…

I'd jerk off if I wasn't neutered
She could be a huge star in the cat porn business. Seriously.

Grade A
What I have here is a black T-shirt , slacks and an unbuttoned red shirt — filled with MEAT. Spam, judging from the smell.

Rabbits
I'm not so crazy about rabbits. They're big enough to put up a fight. I much prefer blind hamsters and chicks with broken legs.

I'll settle this shit right now
Mouse and gerbil, I'd like a word with you both in my mouth.