ElDan apparently lacks two ears and a heart. He shan't be receiving any of my mixtapes.

What the hell?!
Seriously, what the hell?

We're all kind of tired of that joke, Fella.

JFK?

Shit corns? You mean, like, when you shit after you've eaten some corn, and you can see the corn sticking out of your shit? Because that's so weird. And it just occurred to me that I have no idea why I've been looking at my shit so closely.

…and my lovely wife Camiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiille!

Sixteen Candles isn't really the most racially progressive film.

I Am McQuaid!
"I wouldn't want a guy like McQuaid porkin' my old lady."

Shit yeah! I've been meaning to hop on the bus and go get me some CCR tapes.

Jeremy's Iron

* when you someone eat it *

* they could tell *

Hey, it's that guy who shot women at the gym because they thought he could tell he was a gross psycho! Let's all give him a warm hello. Keep up the good work attacking women who post here. Once you put them in their place, they're bound to give your two inches the action it needs.

"What's the weirdest place you've ever made whoopie?"
"In the grotto, Bob."

Cher's taint is asymmetrical.

I think anyone typing "lollygagging" should get a shock too. Same with "ragamuffin."

Don't sell him short, Gentle Herpes—he can pop a beach ball with his sphincter.

What the fuck is wrong with you people?! It's going to be terrible, end of discussion. I have no respect for assholes like you who knew Transformers was a shitpile, but went to see it anyway for bullshit nostalgia purposes, then came home complaining that it was a shitpile. Grow the fuck up and stop watching shit!

"Okay, we're going to be playing Oprah and the guy from Sling Blade. I sure love me some french fried potaters, mmhmm."
"You sure do, Oprah!"

Yeah, there's this really strange subset of misogynist trolls that do nothing but tear apart the posts of the precious few women on the site. It's kind of disturbing, actually, knowing that Andrew Dice Clay has figured out how to turn on a computer.