I wish Armond White wrote for TV Guide.

Yeah, your depression is cured, but…

Yes, however, if I recall, his prison sentence in the book was not three years, but less than one.

Fuck everything now.

Oldboy
Whenever I watch Oldboy, I have to rush out and eat a still-living octopus. Naturally, this results in me eating one roughly twice a day.

All of our sucky presidents were from Ohio, too. Look it up.

"LaBouf was great in his one episode of Freaks and Geeks though."

Well, okay, but ISN'T it being used in its traditional sense?

It's ironic that they finally changed Barbie's proportions to be slightly more realistic, and then decided to make a doll of Christina Hendricks, who is the only woman in the world whose proportions are actually more like the original model.

I have a cousin who looks just like Jeff Bridges. What's that? No one cares. Oh. How about that.

Best hipster joke I've heard:

Best ponytail and glasses scene ever: The Big Sleep (1946) - the scene where Humphrey Bogart fucks the book store clerk (I am not making this up).

I don't think you know what "nototious" means.

Ha ha! Nice, Dired.

I don't think that being a ten means that someone is "the best looking girl you've ever seen." It's not a ranking - if it were, then what would you do after you saw an eleventh girl. A ten just means they are pretty much perfect looking.

Plus, as an A.V. Club writer, you'll get to talk about The Wire. Win-win!

DAMMIT!
I was just thinking of scooping up those email addresses last night, but I said to myself, "Nah, no one's going to think of those names." Fuck!

Oh, is it not cool to like the Lord of the Rings anymore? Oh well, it will cycle around eventually.

Jason Reitman
It's funny that she was told, "Jason doesn't ever want to cast foreigners who are doing accents. So if you're going to talk to him, can you please put on an American accent, so he doesn't know you're a foreigner?"

Muriel Awards
Meanwhile, a group of film critics were putting together their own awards - the Muriel Awards. Congratulations to the A.V. Club for winning 2nd place in the category of "Best Web-Based Film Criticism."