Well, not that hot.

You know what we could really use? Salt.

I totally see what Allison was saying about the larger plot structure, but it didn't detract for me since all the dialogue and jokes were so spot on. The comedic timing was just off the charts here, especially with Rebecca and White-J.

"Depressingly relatable" was my key phrase for pretty much everything this episode. I gave it an A, but I probably shouldn't be trusted since I spent almost the entire episode replaying unwanted flashbacks from various incidents I've lived through. It all felt so true, plus or minus one magical selfie-taking Josh Chan.

It does seem like an admirably smart move to not make Josh a jerk. It would be pretty easy to keep him as a one-note party boy, and make Rebecca's infatuation totally unjustified. That would make for like one decent joke, and then provide very little material for the show to continue on. This way he can (hopefully)…

DAMN YOU!!!!

He/she/it is doing the lord's work, making the two of us look good.

I'll be okay with it, as long as no one talks about the one with the spiders.

Excellent choice. I also quite liked the black number she wore for the dance scene. Nice and elegant, while still ornate.

I think I need more sad-face emojis to express my feelings about this.

It felt like old times this week on Reign, what with the drug overdoses, the throat-slitting, Mary's rad dresses, and the court minstrels performing their stately 16th-century dance remix of "Stay". Toby Regbo and Adelaide Kane absolutely killed it in every scene, I thought. Their dance was absolutely perfect.

I go into a mild opium coma every time Bash appears on screen. It's been working for me so far.

Oh those Renaissance painters - always making people look so much worse than they actually were on the CW. I mean in real life.

Crackle and… crack pipe?

It must be such a relief every time she doesn't get "suicidally depressed brain" or "grumpy old man brain". Even just the cross-gender braining must get a little uncomfortable at times.

that stereotype isn’t all that interesting (or funny). There’s something to be skewered in this sort of comedic send-up of type

I think there is no way this season ends without something horrifically altering happening to Major.

Yahoo's player was a good 50 times worse than Hulu has ever been. It was painfully unfunctional.

Rebecca is a blitzkreig waiting to happen.

The question was still not definitively answered. Yes, a man named "Mr. Spider" owns the club. But does he perhaps co-own it with his wife, also named Spider? Or maybe he has a joint management arrangement with a colony of tarantulas? There are still several possibilities along all three axes of the…