Who do you imagine was the bigger asshole in the divorce proceedings, Basinger or Baldwin? And do their kids look like uber-gorgeous supermen, or just 'piggies'?

@Frito Pendejo — You turned a stupid-ass typo into a genuine LOL for me. Thx!

I probably don't want to know, @Steve Dave, but what IS the Red Vines formula for success?

My mom refuses to see Schindler's List, but when it was in theaters she bought a bunch of tickets to indicate her support of it.

@ Lemur - ::hugs::

@Fritzy-poo - Who the hell is Jamie Coxx?

I had a fight with my (nin-year-old) son the other day trying to convince him that in real life machines are not programmed with the three laws of robotics. He still doesn't believe me.

I'd never heard of that 'breathe in the bag' popsicle technique before — it sounds like a good idea. I generally rinse mine in the sink briefly to get off the ice crystals and goo.

Balloons!

Stuff N Fluff - That was exceedingly funny. Thx.

Thank you, JVS. I will thoroughly molest you in appreciation!

You need to send them some. The AVC gods don't usually seek out evil foods, so much as they're subjected to them or taunted and dared to eat them.

"One unusual feature of the Spotted Hyena is that females have an enlarged clitoris, called a pseudo-penis, demi-penis, or sometimes mistakenly referred to as a nanophallus. Female hyenas give birth, copulate, and urinate through their protruding genitalia, which stretches to allow the male penis to enter for…

Garlic butter popcorn is delish, FYI. Even more so if nobody breathes on you after they've eaten it.

'stache or incipient goatee? It's hard to tell. Stupid out-of-battery camera!

No, he needs to use the caramel ones so the kids'll stick to them and be easier to trap.

Signal30's got a point, but the fact that s/he knows who wrote/sang the song counts MASSIVELY in favor of death by choking on a pina colada popcorn kernel.

Ick — too sweet. I like licorice jelly beans and maybe Jelly Belly juicy pear for a change of pace.

Okay, lemme give this a try…
Sean O'Neal is so hot he totally made me soak my pants in anticipation. And glasses-and-beard guy who talked about the popcorn smelling like suntan lotion could totally work with Sean and double team me. Oh, yeah. ::Reck starts buffing her boat::

I was freaking out, thinking that IES Chang wasn't going to make an appearance! Then my jangled nerves were soothed at 1:66. Oh, Chang, you make everything all better. (The other Asian dude is no substitute, I'm afraid.)