I finally discovered the movies of Leos Carax and watched Boy Meets Girl and Les Amants du Pont-neuf . He is brilliant and brings a wacky sense of humour to the whole ponderous poloneck-wearing Frenchie cinema thing.

Establish early on that your protagonist is human, because readers will naturally assume that he (or she) is a nameless tentacled horror from the cthonic depths. Also : avoid adverbs.

It's got cross-market appeal with the Billionaire Dinosaur Forced Me Gay audience

The hardest part was getting them to make another Jurassic Park movie

Not in my house. It's all Animal Jam and Minecraft these days.

Open the door
Get on the floor
Everybody sex the dinosaur

A Rush And A Push And The Lap Is Ours

Gerg: I done a masterbate

Can't we just get a judge to declare that "The Principle And The Pauper" never happened?

People on the other side of the Atlantic have spent years saying "Chris Evans? How did that ginger twat get in The Avengers?" Fun fact about English Chris: he used to be married to Billie Piper, aka Rose Tyler from Doctor Who and many Doctor Who-related Tumblrs.

Nightstand.com was the first website I ever visited.

I guessed it was Maggie. Is it too late to claim the prize?

I realise lists are lists, but I'm genuinely surprised that Within You Without You isn't on the list.

Hey, check out boxing champ Floyd Mayweather. According to him, women keep forcing him to beat them up. Crazy broads!

Yippee ki-yay, melon farmer

They failed failed because they didn't use my advertising slogan: "Grooves? Hark!"

When is the Android version of this movie due for release?

Unfriended 2: Torrent of Blood, starring Tara Reid as President Of The Internet

I really, really would have liked Jessica Williams to take over. Not because of diversity box-ticking, but because she's the been the funniest person on the show in recent months.

Oh, I can't wait to be severely disappointed by this!