Somewhere, C. Thomas Howell sits in darkened basement, furiously scribbling a manifesto while glancing occasionally at a loaded gun…

Somewhere, C. Thomas Howell sits in darkened basement, furiously scribbling a manifesto while glancing occasionally at a loaded gun…

That is truly sad. That there are people who admit to being Fiona Apple fans, I mean.

That is truly sad. That there are people who admit to being Fiona Apple fans, I mean.

You sure this isn't "A.V. Club Comment Section: The Movie?"

You sure this isn't "A.V. Club Comment Section: The Movie?"

This contract from a Mr. "Elzebub" just arrived sir. If you'll sign right here…

This contract from a Mr. "Elzebub" just arrived sir. If you'll sign right here…

I miss Kitty Carlisle.

I miss Kitty Carlisle.

Is there a hashtag for that guy?

Is there a hashtag for that guy?

I played bass in Chopper Mystery in college.

I played bass in Chopper Mystery in college.

The black bank robber in that Sanford And Son episode was Gordon from Sesame Street.

The black bank robber in that Sanford And Son episode was Gordon from Sesame Street.

Are you suggesting that the 1997 Dukes of Hazzard reunion special was bad?

Looks like Ryan Seacrest finally found that last Horcrux after all.

Place your bets
Current odds on what will happen to Ms. Lohan whilst in jail:

Take a lesson, internet, because THAT'S how you use autotune.