I totally agree. I tried watching an episode of Cake Boss (cake boss!) and was really disappointed that he never once tried to make contact with a dead Chewbacca.

As long as Paul F. Tompkins plays the Ice-T role, I'm in.

Did you also get the grits from True Grit? Or at least George "Goober" Lindsey's skull?

I hope that's not a scat themed romance novel.

Hey, everybody this is my (1000) AV Club Comment !

Well, writing a romance book worked out well enough for Greg Behrendt.

Photo Caption: Empire State Building, King Kong (not pictured)

That would be the west course of action.

I'm chewing it over.

All I know is that this show will require a good supply of body bags.

I can't stop chewing on my 'stache long enough to let it grow to such glory. Maybe I can get a TLC show out of my compulsion. 

A wild PORTUGUESE appeared! It uses ROCK THROW. It's super effective.

At the strip club? Street corner? What?
I'm calling your grandma a whore.

'Odor!

Is a dick pound where homeless penes (yes, that is the correct plural) go for shelter? Or is it some kind of frottage?

I don't know why the scientists even make them.

Much like Cthulu waits dreaming in his house at R'leyh, we wait to devour more stories of human misery.

It's telling that you call a sexual partner an "opponent."

*as George Costanza re: pretzels*
These puns are making me testy!

I think I know a roller derby player who uses that name.