The fucker stole my entire DVD collection. Just keep an eye on him if you invite him to a dinner party, that's all I'm saying.

You could record Hoarders on your DVR…
…but good luck ever deleting it.

Kinda like this:

The slow zoom-in on some jackass teenager's reaction shot, while Yakkity Sax plays over it, makes me smile.

What have I told you about reading Where The Sidewalk Ends while you surf the Web?

Why would it matter which day he decided to give up his amateur status?

Fuck, and there's no way I kept the receipt for all these Bagg'ns.

Follow readily the path to a Burger King lavatory, as it will reward you in sins of the flesh most delightful.

Ah, okay. I had no idea Jim Jimmerson was an idiot. I should update my notes.

And the guy who yells GOOOAL whenever someone scores in soccer!

Relax, guys, enjoy your beverages. I'll handle this one…

And my salty tears.

Which part? Her handwriting?

Well, he's no Cantinflas.

Welcome to Boof.

Fellows, just check my teeth. I'm sure she left at least one in there.

My only question, redundant just three letters into the headline…
…"will this be utter dogshit?"

You take that back.

Delightful.
As long as they evidently employ this "draw from this hat filled with Hispanic names in show biz" method of nomination, it's only a matter of time until Cameron Diaz gets the lifetime achievement award.

Gunit had a half-day.