What the fuck? Who put THIS here? Waiter! What is this? Huh? Well, I sure as fuck didn't order UNBORN BABY on my salad! How'd it get there? Did it just MAGICALLY TELEPORT in? Some TIME-TRAVELING UNBORN BABY?!? Fuck this shit. Honey, get your purse, we're leaving.

See, the thing is, Brownie WASN'T doing a good job!

Beyond the obligatory "Wow. Just… wow" post…
…any time for the rest of your life that you see Ann Coulter, or Sean Hannity, or really any Fox News anchor wearing an earpiece, you must assume this is what is being piped through it.

And then reads to Kate Winslet.

Lost in the hubbub over six being mad at seven because seven ate nine is the tragedy of seventeen having witnessed it all, despite clearly being under eighteen.

Oops, I fucked up the title, didn't I. Judgment NIGHT, of course. Cheers, Frito.

All the better to speed the blow.

Does he help the other car-lot dealers keep an eye out for loose sales?

Just go forward in time to when it's posted.

I've found that the nation's rising Piven-hatred has retroactively made the film Judgment Day that much better. Watching him try to smarm his way out of a sure-death situation with Denis Leary and his goons on the rooftop is downright enjoyable when you can imagine it actually happening on the set of the film instead.

Although we wouldn't get to hear it, there's one scene in Grizzly Man I'd love to see Piven recreate.

Goddamn cliffhangers.

Hey, who put this spatula in my rucksack?

All the while, I will be bouncing mine on your mom's chin.

It didn't matter what else was in your comment after the first sentence, slcgrad. I'll spend the remainder of my workday jerkin' it vicariously for your good fortune, squandered or no.

Yeah, but he was great on The Office and Extras.

DO IT TO HER! MAKE HER WATCH IT! ANYONE BUT ME!

"Don't sweat the petty things; don't pet the sweaty things." ~ Chaucer

You have your own Los Angeles?

The last twenty minutes of Sophie's Choice, give or take a soundtrack.