Robuttnik beat me to it, but goddamn. Did she not somehow look even HOTTER at the Saget roast, a good eleven years after she had a career in the public eye?

On the bright side, we finally have confirmation, albeit half-assed, that Gentle Herpes at one point found someone or something funny.

Windowsmasher, you're thinking of my Hello Kitty fanfiction.

Hoodwink, one of the reasons I'm not up to Silent Hill: Homecoming just yet is that I'm midway through Dead Space.

I'd form a more impassioned rebuttal, but this sentence alone took over a minute to type with just my right hand.

"Are you fisting me back there? Well, CUT. IT. OUT!"

Well, at least something about her is tight.

Kimmel for the win.

Jeff Ross' joke about Andy Dick makes me laugh every time I think about it. Paraphrasing:

The last time I saw Alan Thicke, he was hardcore making out with Olivia Munn at the end of the 1000th episode of Attack of the Show.

Giraldo and Jeff Ross are the two names I look forward to most at these roasts. Their sets always slay me.

Plus the portions are so small!

That sounded like a Chuck Norris joke, Often Posts.

Agreed with ElDan.

I fell into your mom's hatchet wound last night, briefly, but luckily had brought a carobeaner and some rope.

Mode 7, motherfuckers!

This story made me kinda sad.
My lady and I enjoy his stand-up quite a bit, even when he's obviously ragging on his wife and painting a loveless picture of their marriage.

Wait, are we namedropping now? I'm in!

EDDIE IZZARD.

This is a test of the Pedantic Idiot Alert system.
The name of the store is actually just "JC Penney."