Or, better yet, an electrical short allows interference from outside devices, and the kid pressing the button causes the chandeliers to unhinge and crash down into the dining areas, denting the skulls and snapping the necks of all involved.

Shut the fuck up, Donny.

Lucky for me,
…I regularly have tea with Catherine the Great.

Yo Spacey!
You was the bomb in K-Pax, yo!

Where's Ayn Rand's Condescending Sigh when you need it?

Don't have time to read this right now,
…my copy of the hilarious and sidesplitting comedy "An American Carol" just arrived from Netflix!

That's how you can tell the dining establishments who truly CARE about their patrons from those who hold them in contempt: whether they've changed their buffet wording to "all you CARE to eat."

Whoa, OtP. There's no reason to martyr yourself.

Actually, "wit" is a pretty short word.

A firstie that actually made me appreciate its cleverness. Pigs flew.

You'd better hope Best Buy manager Chet Aaronson doesn't read this. The break room will smell like fat guy tears for a week.

Idiotking, either the quality of food/service is far different at the Austin PF Changs than in your stomping grounds, or I have far less discerning taste in Chinese food.

And that boy grew up to be Ann Coulter.

The four-turtle gangbang of April O'Neal in the sewers was, I felt, derivative of IT.

Yeah, I'm not sure where that swipe came from.

No!
They're zeroes in a laugh hell!

Ah, okay.

Not to mention my frustration with The Lockhorns. Her cooking is terrible!

Rewatched this very recently…
…while touring all five seasons to bring my lady into the Newsradio fold, but I've clearly mis-remembered something.

"It's your future… I see a cab ride home."