Dumbledore:

"Well, I guess I'm a fan of the New York Knickerbockers. GO KNICKERS!"

I've always gotten great enjoyment from the "your mom's barren, so I can go ahead and try to uncork in her so hard that a lump rises on the top of her head like an old Warner Bros. cartoon" method.

Kirk, it's one of those "you have to know the rules before you break them" maxims.

While my ass is most certainly tight, I refute each of the other adjectives.

Yeah, there's no way Jacko's face could be described as a controlled demolition, these past few years.

I'm completely relaxed, HellToupee. One clue is the deployment of lower-case letters in some of my sentences.

Our top story: Flamer Torches Byrne.

If it blows, I'll be the first to own up to it, but I also own up to hoping it's another Borat (the film, not the slogan-on-teeshirt-factory it became) and to eagerly wanting to see it when it opens.

Halfwit.

My hopes are waning…
…that this is a biopic about the drummer from The Who.

Why don't they…
…do what they do when they did what they did to her?

Hectoring from an unregistered user. How novel and brave.

[quietly reads a chapter of Chicken Soup For The Soul before bed]

Zodiac Motherfucker's acolytes on this site are inscrutable, but they've taught me the value of shouting like a subliterate given to loud posturing, as it's more admired than putting thought into anything.

Yeah, but only because he couldn't find time to record an Axel F cover after he won American Idol.

"…telling me that the last half hour of this movie is "MEGAOWNAGE" is like telling me I'm going to have to spend the evening with Dr. Josef Mengele but there will be pie when he's done."

Ask your mom.

I'm assuming the motorboat noises mean he approves, or is mildly autistic.

You seem nice.