To this day, seeing those pictures still makes me horny - WISTFUL! They make me wistful!

Is there a way I can get in on this burgeoning sister-forwarding industry?

Jason Statham getting bloodied by a blue shell thrown from Toad was a particular highlight.

Wait, Dane Cook embodies everything that's stupid in Ben Lyons?

I would like to collaborate with you on a professional level!

I firmly believe that the existence of the film Stop-Loss was solely determined to test whether I would truly watch Joseph Gordon-Levitt in literally anything.

Aw, come on! How's my hidden-camera website supposed to justify its bandwidth if he does that?

Yeah yeah yeah, we've all seen your wife's soaked panties, Thatches. What have you done for us LATELY?

Also, Sandler's character can joke so cannily about women because he thinks of a man and then takes away reason and accountability.

A winner is you!

Phallic Baldwin is my favorite commenter name of the day. Top of my hat to you, sir or madame.

911 truly is a joke.

You guys keep ripping on him, he's just going to climb back onto The Santa Maria and sail away.

I don't know who should consider themselves burnt worse by that burn.

Or Dinosaurs?

Elizabeth Banks is just awesome across the board. I'd watch a half-hour of her reading aloud from the phone book.

Santos: Don't call it that.

Brendan Fraser's last episode (discounting later cameos I don't know about) is among the more poignant half-hours of sit-comedy I've seen.

I thought Christa Miller went from smoking hot to wax-doll creepy in the space of about a season, when all of the "Jordan is botoxed into rictus" jokes were made manifest on the face of the actress herself.

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