The problem with responding directly to trolls is that, when they are inevitably banished and their comments stricken from the record, you're left having posted what appears to be blatant propositioning to Jorge.

Objectivists wear some pretty determinedly odd hats, too. Portends to be a rough beating.

Here's a rag soaked in chloroform!

That's the last time I invite Werner Herzog to entertain at a childrens' birthday party.

You could have split the difference and called him Skindalf.

Nor does any diploma-granting agency with any record-keeping capacity.

As frontman of the failed ukelele group Beardy and the Mustache Twins, I will see you in court, you rat bastard.

Elmer's Corp: Pure Profit.

I lost hope when Burt and Loni weren't able to work it out.

Yeah, a "Mondale/Ferraro '92" tattoo isn't the best choice, for a number of reasons.

Oh, jeez. Can you IMAGINE the workload and the crazy hours they must pull in the days leading up to Fuck Wit Dre Day every year?

I would add Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg to the list for consideration, given the untouchable and indisputable (seriously. I will fight you) greatness of both The Chronic and Doggystyle.

For a moment I thought El Zilcho said that Nicolas Cage was wildly erotic.

Rest assured, I won't be jumping to Texas' defense any time soon. Dubya alone did more damage to the state's image than most of the stereotypes (even the woefully inaccurate ones) ever did.

White Man Gives Opinion! Film at Eleven!
I know there's no way to say this without it sounding a bit bigoted or at least xenophobic, and I feel like an utter toolbox having to preface with the "I've got nothing against PEOPLE from Mexico…" song and dance…

Is it bad form to ask that we go back to talking about 4Strength's dad's balls?

"And, in closure, America, while I will concede that this cab is rare, I have conferred with my advisors and we have come to the conclusion that we will instead proceed to Bel-Air. Also, I will smell you later."

I now have a bit more clue why my girlfriend doesn't like when I sprinkle black pepper on her breasts.

Jorge, I believe Billy Zane will see him in small-claims court if that goes down.

Hey! As a forgetful white guy, I resent that I no longer remember why I began typing this sentence.