My hatred for Kenneth Branagh will be overcome when I have scooped out the contents of his skull and shat into it.

See This Movie NOW
This is the greatest film that has been released since my last masterpiece and I demand that each of you see it immediately. Trust me, you will not be disappointed. You should've seen the sketches I drew for the screenplay…awesome, if I say so myself. I make DaVinci look like a hack.

I'm A Much Better Director
I could kick Todd Haynes ass in a directing contest any day of the week. I directed The Green Mile. What's he done that even comes close? Velvet Goldmine? Don't make me laugh. Fucking amateur.

Full Frontal Nudity
I'd have no problem doing full frontal nudity in any of my films. Too bad I don't act, eh ladies?

Richard Kelly…
…should have asked me for advice. I've seen his muddled first draft and the illustrations in that crappy comic book…needless to say, I could've done much better.