So YOU'RE that last person left buying vinyl furniture covers.

No need to be vulgar about it, but I do agree that it is, in fact, pretty nice.

He had always represented the moderate wing of the GOP. It's why Reagan made him his VP pick. It's also why he felt compelled to choose Quayle as his running mate, because he knew the conservative wing still hadn't forgiven him for calling Reagan's tax plan "voodoo economics."

So, it'll be about Hillary Clinton, then?

"… creating a supernova of British-ness that will surely consume us all."

Also worth pointing out:

He gets to see how many retweets he gets, and that's his only goal.

Trump also retweeted something about violence in Chicago:

More likely that he fumble-tweets. The thing about touchscreen devices is that it's really easy to touch the screen by accident when you're just trying to pass it from one hand to the other, and the device has no way of knowing when you didn't mean to do that.

Right between Maury and Jerry Springer!

We all know where this guy's headed: syndicated afternoon talk show.

*Glances upward, looks for falling sandbags*

I realize that sometimes you just can't say this to a blood relative, but the correct response to, "You have an answer for everything!" is, "That's because I actually know what I'm talking about."

Except that they deny the Holocaust, but it think it would have been just the coolest had it actually happened.

"You know who fought Nazis? The goddamn Communists, that's who!"

"Almost?"

But… a pizzagate truther? That's really the best they can come up with?

There's just no pleasing those people…

"Mom! He started it!"

They create chaos, then claim it was caused by "those other people," and offer to bring back calm and order. It's the same playbook since Mussolini.