The worst thing about these stories is that they always remind me how many people who write articles for websites don't know what a vagina is.

You guys are weird.

I've always thought of him as a fusion of Nietzsche and Dostoyevsky, responding to the 21st-century world. I'm not confident about this, though. He might be impersonating some other author I don't know about. And I don't know anything about Tarkovsky, so I'm probably missing something there.

I've always thought of him as a fusion of Nietzsche and Dostoyevsky, responding to the 21st-century world. I'm not confident about this, though. He might be impersonating some other author I don't know about. And I don't know anything about Tarkovsky, so I'm probably missing something there.

Paul Thomas Anderson.

Paul Thomas Anderson.

Robert Redford's a duck?

Robert Redford's a duck?

Someone needs to make a cheap Russian Netflix streaming service that has everything, including new releases, like the cheap Russian site where I buy most of my music for seven cents per song (but which doesn't have any Van Morrison for some reason).

Someone needs to make a cheap Russian Netflix streaming service that has everything, including new releases, like the cheap Russian site where I buy most of my music for seven cents per song (but which doesn't have any Van Morrison for some reason).

I know we're not supposed to show TV to kids under two, but fuck it—I'll say it: My one-year-old is obsessed with this thing. No other TV show keeps her interest for more than five seconds, but when we put this on, she stands in front of the TV in a trance for the full 23 minutes. It's a little disturbing, actually,…

I know we're not supposed to show TV to kids under two, but fuck it—I'll say it: My one-year-old is obsessed with this thing. No other TV show keeps her interest for more than five seconds, but when we put this on, she stands in front of the TV in a trance for the full 23 minutes. It's a little disturbing, actually,…

Please be joking.

Please be joking.

Always pick "Master and Commander."

It's a long sentence, but not a run-on. There are no comma splices or missing conjunctions.

It's a long sentence, but not a run-on. There are no comma splices or missing conjunctions.

The comments in this thread nicely lay out why I don't get O'Neal's tone in this piece. I understand that in pumping out these Newswire articles it's probably easy to get stuck in snark mode, but slave-labor "internships" are a huge problem in this country right now, and it's baffling that anyone can be on the side of…

The comments in this thread nicely lay out why I don't get O'Neal's tone in this piece. I understand that in pumping out these Newswire articles it's probably easy to get stuck in snark mode, but slave-labor "internships" are a huge problem in this country right now, and it's baffling that anyone can be on the side of…

Why are you accusing me of jerking it all over the schedule?