I guess that's why there aren't any headlines about me being the new Doctor. I know I don't have that kind of control.

Saw this with my future wife in the theater. Both laughed at the same bits. Definitively have a soft spot for it.

Always the dollars.

I saw a four year old in a Nirvana t-shirt last week. At church.

Good call. 6 year old beers might be too skunky.

I always wanted one of those Jeep Wagoneers with the wood paneling.

If you're not careful you may be challenged to single Combat.

I always finish on top.

I'm just glad that when my son asks to see Spiderman on TV any day now, I'll have so many shitty options for him.

I heard it was BAM! 97X! The future of rock & roll.

Yeah, but it's her mom. Which still may work, depending which particular depth of the internet you plumb.

Not like them fancy-ass harmonicas.

I wonder how many semitones up the Gremlins were? Cuz I fucking loved them.

He (since they all appear to be male) is a minion with a particular set of skills.

You should probably refuse to drink Michelob just because it isn't very good and there are many better options available almost everywhere at reasonable prices.

Actual fidget spinner provides too much exercise.

At least it was just your ear. You have a spare one of those. Not true of all orifices.

Just one of many. We have such a diversity of (derogatory terms for) people!

Which immediately brought Puddle of Mudbutt to mind.

That's just what happens at a summertime BBQ.