Sounds like neither party really made an effort to figure out what was expected before hookin' up.

It's like being held without habeas porpoise.

Is that boring? There's some really cool shit out there. I don't know anything specific about it, but I've seen some weird mushrooms. This is not a reference to drugs.

Too interesting.

A $1000, diamond encrusted butt plug doesn't intrigue you? What if I told you it was totally organic, gluten free, BPA free, and wasn't tested on any animals?

Worst time I ever had was after a bachelor party (really the only one I ever went to). Bathtub full of liquor. I literally couldn't keep anything down for three days except for water. I was also taking a Probability & Statistics summer course. Had a mid-term exam like two days after the party. I had to excuse myself…

"Well, I mean, isn't everybody?"

Somehow less than expected.

The chances of somehow replicating or improving upon Rob Lowe's Looks with his offspring was essentially nil. He's the physical pinnacle of that particular genetic line. Kind of what I imagine John Stamos' kids go through (if he has any).

And you'd better drink it quick or the ice will by only a memory.

Your usable takes are short, your improvised dialog sticks out too far, and you're a terrible burden on your corporate overlords.

Some undefined amount of something, if I remember my late 90s lingo correctly.

Why do they call 'em fingers? I never see 'em fing.

Mrs. Jive draws a line at "Old Yeller", because she's never seen it and I can't convince her to. Probably the right move, honestly.

We are currently watching "Dory" on repeat at Jive Manor.

That's a lot of fucks.

But THIS ONE has much more of that flavor you despise! It's bound to work!

Who the hell can afford Legos at this point?

OK.

But way short on bullets.