After a particularly bad theater experience, I called the Regal headquarters to suggest that exact idea. The lady laughed at me and said "That wouldn't work."

@avclub-d783823cc6284b929c2cd8df2167d212:disqus  As a 6'2", 240 lb. guy who has weak wrists, I beg you…please don't.

Uhhh…science?

I'll go one step further: The fourth paragraph should be required reading prior to becoming a sentient being.

I hadn't seen Spy Hard in years, so I looked up the trailer. A fair amount of cringing ensued.

That shirt is one pony shy of being The Equine Centipede.

This site features zero Channing Tatum nudity:

This comment needs to be accompanied by an animated gif of a defiant Susan B. Anthony dropping a microphone and walking off stage.

My friend Steven's cat got stuck in his guitar once. I asked him if the strings were "catgut." He didn't think that was funny.

I love movies and I love Wes Anderson, and I know that sometimes you have to make cuts based on performance rather than continuity…

I'm going to drop two names in the hat: Nicolas Winding Refn and Kathryn Bigelow. I'm not sure how they'd handle giant action setpieces, but they're both good at building (and paying off) tense scenes.

My friends and I refer to it as the "let's grab a beer, bro" ending.

"Hello Hank. You don't know me, but I know you. I want to play a game. Here's what happens if you lose. The device you are wearing is hooked into your colon. When the timer goes off, the contents of your colostomy bag will be emptied into your Bermuda shorts. Think of it like a dam bursting. There is only one way to…

All in the frame, yo.

That's true! Although sometimes the opposite happens: they expect something wise and profound, and all I've got is, "…are we having fun yet?!"

I was ready for the snark, so I wouldn't have blamed you. (Snark is another reason I hang out here, too). I've had to do a bunch of papers lately that have been around 90% bullshit pontificating, so my sincerity flowed pretty freely here.

Haha, thanks! It's my Xbox gamerpic (or whatever it's called). I find it to be a good go-to for any and all avatar needs.

Thanks @Scrawler2:disqus !

Thanks @avclub-e38d7d01bb3addc2e58724fe04de73e8:disqus ! That civility is a big reason I've stuck around. Sure, you're always got to have some pot-stirrers, but at least here they seems more of the endearing sort, rather than just trolls. (Although I do remember a fair share of those, pre-manditory registration.) Can…

So, at the expense of delaying homework I should be doing, I'm going to add something here that's probably going to get buried or ignored, but that's okay. Also, this is going to be scatter-shot, because I don't really know where to begin or end, so here it goes…