Can I ask to hear more about the cross-China train journey? I'm not being sarcastic. I'm genuinely curious about what that's like.

Europa, Europa has a solution for that!

I just couldn't get past the Death as narrator thing. I had to stop, like, immediately. How pervasive is it? Should I try again?

Look, we don't have a lot to brag about. We're pretty messed up. Plus "TV was pretty good when we were growing up" is pretty mild compared to all the Woodstock bullshit we had to listen to.

I don't know. 90's TV really didn't get better then 1993.

I would put it a little further along. Maybe the panda rape or Homer's eyes crusting over (although that bit did make me laugh).

Apparently Tim is someone who was with the General moments before he was shot in the head.

That ain't funny.

Home Improvement…

AH! Beautiful! Thanks!!!

Is there a Lincoln Lego guy? I am highly dubious. I have a nephew named Abraham who loves Lego and if there was a Lego Lincoln I'd sure as shit know about it because I would buy him about 50 of them (even though right now he thinks Lincoln is "the Cat in the Hat").

Amen to that.

I keep meaning to use "fold faster than Superman on laundry day" in everyday conversation, but I keep forgetting. I shall redouble my efforts.

This is where I learned the word "fortnight"! It doesn't come up often! Thanks anyway, Simpsons!

Arrgh. Then the lottery ticket part. That opening may be the most depressing 5 minutes in Simpsons history.

"I don't care what you say I can taste the newspaper."

She kicked its ass for 25 years though. That's pretty astonishing.

I demand a recount!

For me, you really can't top the yo-yo rant.

You're fired.