Not a lot of grizzlies in Virginia. Of course, those bears could be Kodiaks or some other type of brown bear. But there aren't a lot of those in Virginia, either. It's like Seth MacFarlane doesn't even give a shit.

All of this, plus the trepidation about Conan, which I share, is monumentally depressing. I mean, come on. A glee club show with a paraplegic kid? A V remake? Does anyone in here have any good news about anything?

"paid masturbator"

Best President Ever.

Irony is when you know deep in your heart that Popeye's Fried Chicken is fucking terrible, but you eat it anyway, because you think it's balls-out hilarious when that one guy says, LOVE DAT CHICKEN FROM POPEYE'S! It's double ironic if you sing that line over and over again while you're eating said chicken. Also, irony…

*Hot girl who mercilessly tortured the hero throughout the movie folds her arms, glares at her friends and stomps away.*

"broadly admired juggernaut films"

I blame the microchip. You put a Pentium processor in a dishwasher, and all of a sudden it can turn itself on and off and make enthusiastic comments about your cooking. Features go up, price goes up. And if it looks like it was designed by Apple, with rounded corners and just one giant button that says WASH, price…

Bruno and Public Enemies. Also, Up was great. But it really is amazing when you look back and consider the volume of outright shitty movies that were released this year. In the space of three and a half months, we got Wolverine, Terminator Salvation, Night at the Museum 2, Land of the Lost, Transformers 2 and G.I.…

In defense of Spielberg, there's a fair amount of complexity in his vision of suburbia. I know he didn't direct either of them, but Poltergeist and Gremlins, for example, can be read as critiques of suburban life. In many ways, Richard Dreyfuss in Close Encounters is like the DiCaprio character in Revolutionary Road,…

In Revolutionary Road, the only thing worse than the "suburbia as hell" shorthand is the fact that the movie then props up Paris as the dreamy world capital of culture and sophistication, nothing like that provincial burg New York City of course, around which most of the movie takes place. Nothing against Paris in…

I should have said the *expected* critical consensus, giving White the benefit of the doubt, that he doesn't actually study the opinions of other critics and then tweak his own accordingly.

As a fully ripened AV Club nitwit, I tend to agree with ET, in that the aforementioned list deeply offends my sensibilities. But the real issue here is how you separate the genuine radicals from the thoughtless contrarians. At a glance, this guy White sounds a bit like the Christopher Hitchens of the film world, a…

The 13-year-old inside me is dying to know, does Shia LaBeouf finally tell Megan Fox that he loves her? And if so, does he do it in a moment of stress, perhaps blurting it out as she's being kidnapped and / or tortured by the bad robots? Or maybe just before they plunge into a potentially life-threatening situation?…

Yeah, even when I get serious, my mind is never quite where it should be.

All accounts will be settled by Metacritic and Rotten Tomates. One of these movies has a paltry 30/24 score, and one has a robust 70/89. So yeah, the G.I. Joe review here seems to be a bit of an outlier, but we all know the AV Club loves it some Joseph Gordon-Levitt, even if he is playing an insane terrorist…

Yes, the actuarial tables! Let's base our decisions about how we treat people in this society upon whether the average health insurance premium might theoretically and at some point be affected in the most marginal and probably undetectable way. I mean, if millions of women all at once decide that they want to become…

This "I want to be a tree" stuff bears more than a passing resemblance to the bullshit slippery slope argument that we're always getting from people who don't want to recognize the legitimacy of gay relationships, as in: "What's next? Marrying a chicken?" We're not talking about people trying to be a different species…

Okay, but there can certainly be a lot of gray area between "fat" and "skinny," just as there can be gray area between the genders. Anyway, the standard that genitalia determines gender is problematic to say the least, as Snape has already pointed out. If you're going to insist that people inhabit one category or the…

To a certain extent, yes. Realism is not David Lynch's strong point. But more than any other director who tries to do this, I'd say that he succeeds at making his films work as a series of compelling images. No one watches a Lynch film for the tight plotting or the conceptual rigor or the crackling dialogue or the…