That's a short conversation.

"We're not gonna take it!"

Has anyone seen my +5 Sword of Sharpness?

According to that chart, we are born at 14 and all die at 48. By that calculation, I have out-lived their theories. I WIN AT LIFE!

No, he's the guy who gets the Red Box movies for their lunch break.

Who you calling a jerk!?

Oh well, that makes it all better. Thank you for explaining.

Yes Russia, it is a conspiracy to make you all gay. Don't worry though, you can just go to any church and they have a camp where God will push the gay out of you!

I almost spit out my lunch when I read that. Thanks.

"How I met your drunk-ass redneck dad" tonight at 10 on History Channel.

Well we could but then we would have to name it something else because the name "History Channel" is already taken. Maybe "Past Truths" or "Stuff that happened before you were born"…we can work on that later.

H2: now with 10% more aliens!

We got nothing better to do
than watch TV and have a couple of brews.

I'm still wondering what turtle ate to crap that out. I hope I never accidentally eat it too.

What?

"I like turtles."

Is that the name of the last porno you watched?

In her next role she'll be forced to play a skinny white guy. That'll show those equal rights feminists!

She used to be higher on the list but then she got knocked down. She'll get back up again.

Paddle faster! I hear banjos!