How did you get $5 in coins in his butt crack?

Borg of the Caribbean 8: Resistance is Futile

Agreed. he could use the trident to propel himself into the future. Next movie could do it.

Duh. The immortal chick would be for life but Natalie Portman is only a one-life-stand.

You can see your own tramp stamp? Flexible.

Which one? The color version or the black and white version? I'm so confused again.

You have my attention.

Punny.

:::Bush Sr. is amazed by Velcro tennis shoes:::

True but weed is super safe.

I think I would have at least some respect for the man if he would just shave his head. He would probably look younger too.

I am betting that if tobacco came out THIS year instead of 100+ years ago it would be labeled as an illegal drug.

I am betting that if tobacco came out THIS year instead of 100+ years ago it would be labeled as an illegal drug.

You misspelled "penises".

You misspelled "penises".

*Gets sued for giving partial information about Phillip Morris*

WWTTD (What Would Tiko Tiko Do)?

I am serious.
And don't call me Shirley.

You should change your work email signature to "Cool fuck a doodle doo." I bet you get a pay raise.

*Changes wife's nickname to "The Captain"*