I used to play fantasy football until I took an arrow to the knee.

But if you can prove that you blocked it out and only recently remembered the abuse, the statute of limitations starts over from the day you remembered the abuse. At least that is how it worked a dozen years ago or so.

What would be refreshing is if he blew his brains out instead of doing multiple interviews "to show the public how much of a victim he is to this disease".

"I don't want to apologize to them because it will open up old wounds. But talking about them over and over again in national newspapers doesn't open old woulds and it might make me sound like less of a jagoff. Lets do that instead."

He wasn't very good at firing people.

"It's Wayne Brady! RUN!"

I had an ex-boss call me and asked if he could send my info to a guy who was hiring. I agreed. Soon, the new potential boss sent a LinkedIn request that I accepted. The guy never contacted me for an interview. Long story short, I think my LinkedIn caused me to not get the job. I lie way better in my resume.

"Doesn't this budget for 2015 make you Randy?!"

Are you talking to a dog? You know they can't talk back, right?

You have my attention, sir.

Isn't this just a TV spin-off of Mad Max?

Spoiler: He means black people.

My daughter would give her a run for her money. She says the computer in Portal/Portal 2 is her all time favorite video game character and is constantly trying to tell me that there is cake in the garage.

Does "eMpTy V" = Virgin?

Or one them could be addicted to heroin and it could still be called Basketball Jones.

A. V. Club: Hipstery and smugly superior.

A. V. Club: Exceeding 200 cartoon characters!

ZOMBIE!

Doom?

Yeah. That couldn't end badly…knock on wood.