Something something pussy lips.

9) "Did someone order a large pepperoni with extra cheese?"

My mother called me "Plan B" once.
Once!

6) "She told me she was 18."

They're just gassy.

Every time you pun, God kills a puppy.

A. V. Club: Worked the meat…seriously.

Donald Trump's hair is so light. I bet he never burns his grilled cheese sammiches.

"E" is for eyebrows.

I used to drink from a bottle. I never really stopped though.

Useless Trivia: It takes 7 grilled cheese sammiches to mop up one can of Cambell's Tomato Soup if it is cooked according to the directions.

Rollin' rollin' rollin'
Keep them eyes a-rollin'…

Thane of Groans

Fist Blood.

A. V. Club: Devolving into an all-out orgy.

"Hey Jane this is your manager, Marvin."
"Marvin Berry!"
"Remember that career you were lookin' for…"

I feel like I should say something here but everything keeps canceling itself out.

You forgot the "A NUT" in that song.

"What is: How many and what type of virgins do Muslims get when they die?"

The fuck is going on in this thread?