God help you if you watch Portlandia. You'll probably drive to Portland and go on a killing spree, targeting any and all people with excessive amounts of disposible income, ironic facial hair and/or unnecessary scarves.

Wait. Does he lift and fire each boob individually or is it double laser action ala "PEW PEW! PEW PEW PEW PEW!"?

Holy shit! It's the guy behind Dr. Tran!

There's a simple solution to all of your problems - stop feeding your dates all those fucking horses.

There's a simple solution to all of your problems - stop feeding your dates all those fucking horses.

Yeah, you betcha!

Yeah, you betcha!

. . . when they do at least half of these for real, I hope you realize that you have only yourself to blame.

. . . when they do at least half of these for real, I hope you realize that you have only yourself to blame.

So, how many seasons did that craphole series take to start getting "pretty good"? Five? I couldn't stomach the first half of season one and the handful of episodes I watched later out of morbid curiosity didn't improve my opinions on the matter. Seemed like the entire damn crew was as dumb as a box of hammers.

So, how many seasons did that craphole series take to start getting "pretty good"? Five? I couldn't stomach the first half of season one and the handful of episodes I watched later out of morbid curiosity didn't improve my opinions on the matter. Seemed like the entire damn crew was as dumb as a box of hammers.

All I really want is . . .

All I really want is . . .

I'm peeved that we're getting yet another 21st century companion - I really was pulling for Victorian Era Oswin, just for at least some bit of variety to be in play.

I'm peeved that we're getting yet another 21st century companion - I really was pulling for Victorian Era Oswin, just for at least some bit of variety to be in play.

SPOILER: Clara Oswin Oswald is actually The Rani, setting herself as a clever trap for The Doctor via the usage of those pocketwatch memory erasure devices and lots and lots of time travel.

SPOILER: Clara Oswin Oswald is actually The Rani, setting herself as a clever trap for The Doctor via the usage of those pocketwatch memory erasure devices and lots and lots of time travel.

THINGS THAT PROBABLY WILL NOT HAPPEN THIS DOCTOR WHO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL:

THINGS THAT PROBABLY WILL NOT HAPPEN THIS DOCTOR WHO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL:

Relax, Daddy-o! The TVDW is done with speaking to your mind! Now, he's speaking to your SOUL, man! You dig? Just relax your mind and let the poetry fill your heart!