Yeah, right there in the opener he has to whip out his big ol' Ph.D dick tattoo, and he decides to connect Marcus to Mark Antony and not Marcus Aurelius?  Kinda put it right into his mouth on that one.

Let's start a war

"To be honest, I was rather dreading this episode when I first heard about it."

I just saw the ad with Cera in long hair and sunglasses.  This guy needs to star in the Beck biopic, NOW.

What if they stayed in the closet?  It's hotter in there.  But they need a reason to be in there…what if the Riddler locked them in a closet and when he opens it up again he gets an eyeful of hot manlove (figuratively…it's still PG)?  THEN he might have some questions.  Maybe even some for himself.

"Get me vomit-free versions of the episodes and I'll watch the shit out of them."

It's really hard to make fun of them since the government confiscated my Paris backdrop.

Poor Millennium.  It seems like people have a blind spot for it.  Despite A.V. Club's relatively recent finishing of the reviews, and despite Lance Henriksen's recent appearance on this show, it doesn't get credit for doing a lot of the things Hannibal is doing almost two decades later.  Stark and beautiful…

Actually, the Chill as Fuck movement has been around since before the late 19th century, when that sarcastic dick Louis Leroy started calling it Impressionism.

He needn't have concerned himself with his legacy.  He has a Koopaling named after him.  How many Kennedys can say that?

I'm really hoping Lance broke up a scene by looking at Will when he came in and saying, "Frank Black would have been here two weeks ago."

From the headline, I was sure someone was finally going to tell the story of Wirt.

Whoopty-doo A.V. Club!  Everyone who's found true love may leave early today!

No, no, no. You gotta listen to the way people talk. See, you don't say like "Affirmative" or some shit like that. You say… no problemo.

2 and a half straight hours of calisthenics while wearing a rubber suit?

We do!  We do!

I've never heard anything by The Hives (that I know of) but yes, they should pay.

In true bizarro-nemesis form, Jack Black's magic machine also allows everyone to make their own mini-LPs*.

"Looks like a printout from an online download."

Wow, we've found something that Simpsons didn't do.