Apparently treason is not above his law.

You must be Putin me on!

@avclub-4602fc349ffc0ad649190e937f2a5f14:disqus  - No, no, no…plumps when you cook it!

Today I refused to learn anything!

Shows that are on at 11am, 1pm, and 3pm should not be listed under "What's on Tonight," but rather "Here's what's on if you have a weird schedule or no job."

Then you'll love this:
[Undoes pants]

Present company excluded, of course.

Is that a euphemism?

What about He was a Quiet Man?
Wait.  You're right.

Parker Posey does not age!

"Unfortunately, the Sprechers’ conviction falters in the second half, as they abandon satire for schlumpy indie drama. "

These things remind me of the Star Trek: TNG episode with guest star Ashley Judd.  It all creeps me the fuck out.
However, if you want to be a weirdo with things on your face, you should be allowed to watch pornography.

In general?  Or specifically placed?

"whom," not "which."

You should have resorted to violence.

Just forehead and the occasional glance up for approval, right?

[Rolls eyes]
Way to invest in the future, man.

Sold!
Also, how can we be sure it was Catherine Zeta-Jones-Douglas' that gave him the ol' throat herp?

I need a documentary which chronicles Michael Douglas' contraction of cancer from cunnilingus.

Dammit all.  You beat me to it.