These things are all true.

Because obviously, the only route to go is the Newt Gingrich route? What is he, Harlan Ellison?

I know! How dare I suggest that your words have consequences? How dare I bring up a simple political reality that most people with half a brain understand: if you shit enough on the person who agrees with 90% of your agenda, and give the guy who opposes your agenda free negative advertising, you might help the guy who…

Apology accepted. By way of a compliment, I'll say your bookshelf must be full of books with really nice covers.

"a. How did I help when she won my state handily?"

They haven't even given you an idea to be offended by, here. At this point, it's barely a premise.

Sadly, the alternate history Reconstruction show would be a lot better, but offer less drama.

…and the "America First" President can't wear a tie made in America.

They're also against ABS. Liberty demands that Americans be allowed to make unlimited bootlegger turns!

Because that same first serious candidate of color endorsed her repeatedly?

Good point—I should've mentioned that. I also liked the way the movie avoided the common time travel "technology that is never invented/discovered" paradox by having Cooper only send Murphy raw data from the future rather than simply providing her the answer to the gravity problem (which "They" obviously could do, if…

If your kids aren't old enough to not make a giant mess, they're not old enough to go to any sit-down restaurant. Heck, in order to start taking my kids to restaurants, I found I had to convince them that there was a vast network of undercover kid behavior monitors who had the authority to ban them from all…

Yeah, that's the thought that I had reading your piece. I have nothing against the kids menu. Sometimes as a parent your need to make sure your child's biological needs are met overwhelms other considerations, and you just need to be sure that there's something on the menu they'll eat with a minimum of drama. It's…

Not all dairy products are equal when it comes to lactose intolerance. The kind of cheeses they use in pizza are pretty safe compared to items that are heavy on cream or butter.

Indian as affordable fast food has never caught on in the U.S. I used to have a cafeteria-style Indian place near my school that catered to cab drivers, and it was one of the best inexpensive meals you could get in the neighborhood. But that hasn't translated well to mall-style chain restaurants.

I think that for people who are lactose intolerant, ghee can be one of those ingredients that hits them hard and fast. Also, my understanding is that Indian food is a lot more common in British commonwealth countries than it is in the U.S., so it's considered more exotic simply because people encounter it less often.

Let me see if I can do this:

Sadly, we're all living your Citizen Kane remake. Right now we're hoping to skip ahead to the part where Kane gets impeached, tweets the word "covfefe"—which those in the know understand is his nickname for his mistress's vagina, but for general audiences we're going to have to pretend it's some cherished childhood…

Like, right now? Which makes it even more impressive, since you posted two hours ago…

So we're passing over Crank and Casino Royale to put 300 in the wrong year? Sounds like a plan!