For Heaven's sake, let it die! Is there not some sacred dagger or ancient enchanted handgun that will kill this thing before it becomes a franchise?

I guess I was just upset that sliding scenes replaced my old favorite: the "people walk out of a river and find they're covered in leeches" scene.

It's a consequence of living in a place and time of plenty: you can indulge nonsensical food taboos if you haven't lacked for food in a generation or two. Others can't afford to pass up food purely for reasons of sentimentality.

You're upset because movies today are too escapist or not escapist enough, compared to the past? Because the 80s and 90s pretty damn escapist, as the plethora of slides we're discussing suggests.

Well, they told him he's free to go…but if he does, Beverly Crusher will take his place!

I suspect that by now, a job as the official White House Fluffer looks dignified to ol' Spicey.

Cera will play the unconventional speech therapist in The King's Speech II: Kushner Bugaloo.

Not really. It was always clear that Rebecca Romiijn-Mystique only ever wanted to bone Magneto. Everything else was her using her powers to mess with people.

Well, then they're all on suspension until the department headshrinker clears them for duty! Turn in your badges, your phasers, and your bat'leths!

It's just a regular Klingon preparing to sing the traditional Klingon battle song, "My Old Kentucky Home."

Why wait for your show to become a cultural phenomenon, when you can simply insist that it is, sight unseen? Heck, if you pay the right Russians enough money, you can get all the social media presence you want…

Well, that and the fact that there was a capitol police security detail on the scene.

All it shows is that Trump doesn't comprehend the concept of sacrifice any better now than he did when the Khans put the question to him last summer. I don't think anyone needs to exaggerate Scalise's injury, given that any bullet wound is pretty damn serious, no matter how crappy the weapon, and the pelvis houses a…

I think after 6 days of testimony about Cosby, they've had all the free willy they can stand.

There's some stuff there, although figuring out the real value of any given producer credit is fairly precarious—sometimes it seems like his name was just slapped on any old production, other times he seems to have been heavily involved with getting the movie made. So you have executive producer credits on things like…

Didn't Spielberg do basically the HBO miniseries version of Apollo 13? From Earth to the Moon?

I kind of see it like the end of Unbreakable:

A word of advice: some people claim that if you just bathe in a mild lye solution after a trial like this, you'll some day be able to feel clean again. It's not true.

[Looks through thousands of pages of deposition testimony to figure out which one of his victims Cosby nicknamed "Elizabeth."]

…Or waiting for his order at White Castle.