I've got a 20-some year old bottle of Wild Turkey in my bar at home. I'm afraid to open it.

"Are you in Europe? Do you need an adaptor??"

Cartwright, four!!

Colonel Sanders planned this well in advance, before he went tits up.

First time I saw the joust I died. The priest throwing the bike down in disgust … the kid with the bell. Gold.

Hey! Agent Foster Grant!

He did, but it was a lemon.

I received this on DVD as a Christmas gift when it came out. I can't remember a more offensive slight against Jesus.

And probably being paid a handsome celery for it as well

Masturbate to a Billy Joel album??

Keep those hands of fate at 10 o'clock and 2 o'clock mister!

*monocle falls into drink*

"Part Doo"

"Celebrity"

C3POs or GTFO

#YouveGotToBeMcKinnonMe

EAT MOR SCHLICKEN

"How's life treatin' ya, Mr Diamondback??"

If he plays baseball, does the Senior VP of PeePee take BP?

Dennis Farina used the F-word like Michelangelo used a brush, a true master. RIP