Don't forget the Lebbos!

Hey Phil, congrats on the name change (and by default I guess, marriage). Good guy.

Houston tribute concert to occur SXSW in Austin; cast of new Dallas to appear with performance by 30 Seconds To Mars cover band Jaded Laredo, followed by a poetry reading by San Antonio Banderas.

I don't know what everyone's so worked up about. I'm watching traffic feed from Dallas and everything seems to be fine.

This movie better fucking have those hand drums with the bead thingies that make noise when you rub the handle between your hands.

Mark Wahlberg could've saved this movie.

Goodbye Blue Monday!

You know what would be totally radical? A Lingerie Bowl. And a third Woodstock. And Skechers, which are already radical, so they would be radicaler!

Mitt is no such Bush! How dare you, sir!

He lives with his accountant. HUGE difference.

I can only guess that they don't review it because they don't want to receive e-mails from frumpy foo-foos who love to complain to a third party that 2 1/2 hour podcasts are "ugh, too long (sigh)". Which I understand, but don't agree with. I look forward to listening to The Todd Glass Show more than any other because…

Guys, you HAVE to try this butterfly cum!

I've been in Australia for eight months and whenever someone asks if I miss home, I say, "No, not really…miss Yuengling, though."

All 22 minutes will be devoted to finding that magical field of wild Jayhawk bush weed.

As far as I'm concerned, the comments stop here.

Anything at all is beyond my bed banter.

That's just disgusting! Horrible and disgusting! You know what you should do? Go onto iTunes and write your fifth bad review of MATES. Be really bitchy and give it zero stars, only this time, call Michael Ian Black "Michael Ian Hack!" That'll teach him.

Hey, Matt Damon could have bought the Dresden Zoo, but he DIDN'T, did he?

Don't worry, Chico, they'll bring the razor covered strap-on dildo to you.

In prison.