This is a conflict of interest, because I think Jesse J is up for a Grammy.

Good news for movie lovers:  my client, Robert DeNiro, has signed to star as the grumpy zookeeper in "Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipmunk's Day".  David Cross was making ridiculous salary demands.  Garry Marshall has agreed to direct! 

I know you'll all be excited to learn that my client, Garry, has a brilliant concept for his next project.  It all takes place on a fabulous cruise ship, where legions of formerly respected actors happen to meet and overcome obstacles to romantic bliss.  The ship's captain and steward try to help things along, with…