MAN WHAT?!?! ALL Y'ALL DO IS TALK ABOUT FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS AND NOW YOU HAVE YOUR CHANCE TO TALK ABOUT EAST AND WEST DILLON AND IT'S ZIPPO???? RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!!!!

No comedy.

You don't get to pick your lap dance song, and once mine was "Horse with No Name" by America. No refunds.

This news makes me want to open the door AND get on the floor!

IT COMES WITH POG SLAMMERS! X-TREME!

This makes up for Dethflix or whatever. This is so good.

This is unbearable.

I only read Hard Sci-Fi.

Wait….Is that not Elvis Costello's "Pump it Up" riff?

You need to do one of these on Nick Arcade. I have 100 questions about that show and host Phil Moore.

Hey, wait…I've got a new complaint: someone get a fucking proofreader on that YouTube video. Good lord.

I've been to Intercourse, PA. It's halfway between Blue Ball and Paradise. Look it up.

The dream of the 90s is alive!

Hey cool, that's my Super President video. Man is he lame though.

Broke my sitar, motherfucker.

THE AV CLUB: Come on people.

Holy SHIT I forgot about that Hole song until I realized that is the song that I got a really serious blow job in high school during. I know that sentence is terrible. I didn't know another way to put it. Epic times.

"[Phil Collins] has since retired from music—a luxury that all his platinum records, solo and with Genesis, have afforded him. " Isn't it actually that he has severe, crippling back problems that don't allow him to play anymore?

And cars are for the garage.

Cannon.