I always thought a good one would be the opening of Japan, have Admiral Perry et all be a Templar and a clan of ninjas being the assassins.

How about just ignore everything to do with Templars or Assassins. Or just leave an entire side out entirely. Or show a period where the two groups are at peace. The core game is stronger than the plot, and could easily shed it.

The overall plot is SO FUCKING DUMB! Not to mention completely tired. We support the Assassins over the Templars why? I always thought the Templars seemed like the good guys. In the first game they try to put a stop to the Crusades. In Constantinople they try to replace a conquering force ruled by a king with a force…

I constantly think, man if only Shane had killed Rick this group might be doing alright. Shane was actually intelligent in his choices. Hirschel's original plan for survival was dumb as hell, and Shane called him out for it. Frankly, in an apocalypse, I'd follow crazy over moronic any-day.

In what world is driving a van off a bridge while sitting at the front of it not just straight up suicide?

I asked last week to start my comment "God could these reviews get anymore fawning?" That question was answered resoundingly by this weeks review. How many characters and scenes can you describe as awesome and still have a job writing? And the stuff you describe as awesome is so often vapid crap.

There was an interview with the whole cast after the movie came out. Charlie Hunnam was saying he really didn't like Idris Elba, he backed it off a bit before he did too much damage, but he made it clear they didn't get along. He just thinks he's an asshole. If you watch Pacific Rim it totally comes across in the…

One would assume Merlin-esque means a wise man, but not a wizard. Maybe name Mir'len or something stupid like that as well.

Lancelot is a villain only in the most narrow, sexist, patriarchal reading of the story. Guinevere is abandoned by her husband for like five fucking years or something so he can go dick around unsuccessfully hunting for the Holy Grail. She sleeps with the handsome, moral, intelligent man who is tasked to guard her,…

Why ever stop making these movies. The story is always secondary to muscle-bound morons, a ridiculous number of hot women, cars and guns. They could make like 20 of them no problem.

Damn, Idris Elba and Charlie Hunnam really don't like each other. Guess the Pacific Rim stories were as bad as they sounded.

He's turning into the greatest old man.

When I first saw Umphrey's Mcgee, I didn't stop listening to them practically exclusively on my shitty car speakers for about 3 and a half years. It got to the point where I didn't even want to listen to them anymore, just nothing else had that mix of intensity, complex instrumentation, and a pleasant tone. I still…

Damn straight! Hey scientists, fuck off!

Look, I'm not disagreeing, at all, that race played a factor in his marginalization. I said that. I was explaining why they may have screwed him over in the end. They wrote a role for a funny energetic, Eddie Murphy. They got Ernie Hudson. They thought it would work, decided it didn't, then just shunted their sole…

My snarky northern friends and myself always joke that in the north everything is fine. People worked together and took care of the zombies. Zombism only spread in the south because people immediately freaked out and started shooting everyone, leading to them turning into zombies.

Maybe the last sentence was their first thought, then in practice they were like, "Damn, black actors aren't interchangeable, we really needed Eddie Murphy for this!"

Hearing that it may have been Eddie Murphy makes so much more sense. They clearly did not want Ernie Hudson.

Could these reviews get more fawning, but that being said it was a pretty good episode. Call me a cynic, but my reaction to Eugene's reveal wasn't, "Oh wow, that was so bravely early." It was, "Oh fuck, now instead of changing locations we're going to get another full season of backwoods Georgia." I guess rule number…

Doesn't the Egyptian goddess and the four thousand year old mystery-cult dedicated to her worship get precedence over a mistranslated acronym of some violent asshole's gang?