Bottom Almost Full

Shouldn't this have been in Slate?

WHENEVER I SEE ANNE HATHAWAY I …. ehh, never mind. 

Fuck you, Chris! 

I mean seriously, who's born in "Washington, D.C."? She couldn't come up with a better story than that?

PLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASE

Luckily for both of you, those people don't exist.

He is equivocating like a motherfucker.

They made a whole movie based on the time on 'Friends' when Chandler got trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre?

I chew that gum like Wyman

Does anyone truly own anything? 

Careful — saying something nice about Kevin Smith is dangerous business around here.

Carlin had more of an impact on the way I view life than any philosopher. The piece that first really spun my head around was "Golf Courses for the Homeless": http://youtu.be/AbSRCjG-VLk

I can proudly state that I have never seen an episode of 'Chuck,' but I have seen 'Cool Hand Luke.' I have no regrets about either viewing decision.

Any setup that forces Scott to awkwardly talk about Kulap is pretty entertaining to me.

PFT pulls it off with panache. "You can pause live television, Douggery! Did you realize that?"

No man can eat 50 sandwiches.

"Poison My Eyes" should have been on 'Sound of White Noise,' particularly as it incorporates the 'SOWN' sample from 'My Girl' (!!!) into the lyrics ("Be dangerous, unpredictable and make a lot of noise").

Great track: "Better." All else is waste.

"You have your bite of rhubarb pie, and it is delicious, it is sweet and tangy and tart and flaky and tender all at the same time. AND THEN A 150-YEAR-OLD ME COMES IN AND I SHOOT YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE FOR EATING PIE INSTEAD OF CAKE!" — Cake Boss, predicting the manner of Scott Aukerman's eventual death at age 112