IT'S NOT THAT I HAVE A LOUD VOICE, IT'S THAT I'M YELLING!

I'm hoping for a reality show about all those Rapunzels living in the tower together.

Cake Boss!

I would quibble with the characterization of "gay panic" humor. Typically that would mean the characters are terrified of appearing to be gay, but Holmes and Watson seem perfectly comfortable with the fact that they have the personality dynamic of a romantic couple (without the actual romance). 

That's valid.

"When y’all need me, I’m gonna be there."

I can live with chatter, but chitter is out of bounds.

That reminds me, I should selectively fast-forward through 'Love and Other Drugs' today.

ANIMAL! ANIMAL!

Every time Metallica ever covered a NWOBHM song the packaging helpfully informed the purchaser about the band that originally wrote and recorded it. Otherwise I quite likely would never have known that acts like Diamond Head existed at all.

On the one hand I'd still kinda like to have a T-shirt that says DON'T FUCK WITH MR. ZERO, and on the other hand most people would probably think it was a Smashing Pumpkins reference. And then some people still just don't like any T-shirt with "fuck" on it, and in some places it's actually against the law to wear…

Sorry, I meant if I would just stop masturbating for five minutes, I could save rock and roll!

They tried that with Bieber, and look where it got us.

I know life sometimes can get tough, and I know life sometimes can be a drag! But people, we have been given a gift, we have been given a role! And that role's name is ROCK AND ROWOWOWOWOLL!

At the end of each show she thanks "ewe" and nobody even notices.

My boss knows the guy who wrote 'Silent Night, Deadly Night.' Every fucking Christmas I have to hear that fact. Pretty sure he hasn't even seen the thing.

If he would just masturbating for five minutes.

I listen to both incessantly but not exclusively, so, yeah.

As someone who does interviews for (part of) a living, I'll let you in on a secret: Maron is a fantastic interviewer. That's plenty of reason to listen.

No two words in 2011 were guaranteed to make me smile more than "Cake Boss!"