You know, if you approved of something I said I'd be incredibly fucking disappointed with myself. So thank you. Also, fuck you.

Tea Partiers ignore what Reagan did in favor of what he said. It doesn't matter that he exploded the deficit, it just matters that he said deficits are bad. It doesn't matter that he grew the federal government, it just matters that he said, "Government is the problem."

Really, almost all of the hot ones are liberals. The exceptions stand out (literally in this case, amirite?).

'Hurt Locker' was a disappointingly standard-issue action movie elevated by stylish direction.

Someday I'm going to spring 'Audition' on someone who hasn't seen it and lead them to believe it's a romantic comedy. The first act totally plays like a straight-up rom-com.

Chicken tetrazzini!

The This American Life piece about the guy who stopped producing testosterone destroyed what little vestige I had of belief in a soul. Turns out if you don't have any testosterone you no longer desire anything, and that essentially means you have no personality. I quickly did the math: If you have no personality…

I shan't defend it myself. And of course the band pretty adamantly disowns it.

wait a minute
So '(Music From) The Elder' was both "hilariously misconceived" and "hilariously titled," but what about all the other elements of it? Was it hilariously mastered? Hilariously printed? Hilariously distributed? I must know!

*Eric Carr

All part of lifes rich pageant.

Big Momma's House 4: HOW MUCH FUCK BIG MOMMA?

128 Hours

Winter's Bone 2: Still Bonin'

I also spent many years wondering if this had been real or not. But then, given my mental disability, I spent many years wondering if a lot of things were real or not.

Easily entertained
When I was 7, I found this thing absolutely enthralling. Did I have a mental disability my mother didn't want to tell me about?

Wow, now the defense is that he only beat the shit out of a woman for "five minutes a few years ago"? Why make O.J. accountable for killing those two people? I'll bet it only took three minutes tops! Why is Lee Harvey Oswald vilified when he only shot Kennedy for a few seconds 48 years ago?

I always liked Dunn as Pat Stevens. Just the other day I actually heard someone on TV say "I'm a former model," and I nearly said "Thank you."

Seriously, asserting that Chris Brown was a victim of domestic violence? Fuck him and fuck you too.

So she had it coming? You stay classy.