STOP, STOP, JIM HENSON'S ALREADY DEAD!!

But if SNL were a good batshit insane cartoon, Weekend Update would be Taiwan news.

All I know is that John Mayer once called someone's body a wonderland. I'm assuming that person was a dude. Because John Mayer is gay, is what I'm getting at.

High five!

Touche. I see we have reached an impasse.

Last Friday Night is by far the most adorkable song about date rape and public indecency I've ever heard.

When you really think about it, breasts are pretty freaking bizarre and unattractive. Same with noses, ears, testicles, pinky toes, and man-nipples.

I'd vote it a "DD," on account of her ta-tas.

I respect her as a musical artist and media personality.

Tasteless humor is my coping mechanism!

The "epic battle in a funhouse mirror room" from hell.

……….

Without reading the review, I'm going to guess this show is about how Jesus wants you to be rich.

It's alright. Adventure Time is my escape from cruel reality too.

Say, someone get this joker back in the recording studio!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Pitbull.

This guy needs to get together with the dude who produces fundamentalist Mormon reality shows. Ain't no drama like sister-wife-mother-daughter drama.

The outdatedness of that joke/riddle is the best evidence that our society is actually capable of making advancements. The first time I heard it I spent ten minutes trying to figure out what I had missed.

I think she wandered off from the Barney Rubble cosplay convention in the conference room next door.

Amen to that last thought. While I never thought Family Guy could top the Simpsons in its prime (nor South Park, for that matter), it's still a case of massively wasted potential.