Darkness falls across the land
The midnight hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize your neighborhood
And whosoever shall be found
Without the soul for getting down
Must stand and face the hounds of Hell
And rot inside a corpse's shell

My father was so furious that I picked that film (out of desperation) that he took us home without renting anything and told my mother with disgust that I wanted to rent a movie about a sex change.

"How much are you worth?"

How about ol' Gil? You know I can use a break. Oh, come on, say you want Gil for the cover, and please let it be for a lot of money…

Johnny Gobs got ripped and walked off a roof, all right? No big loss.

I don't like superheroes. I think they're FREAKS. They're DIFFERENT, and I hate DIFFERENT people. Sure, they claim to do things out of altruism, but I don't care how many people they save. They're WEIRD, and they have no place in this country. Sort of like teenagers, but we all know they're just stupid and have…

I read the book as a freshman but was never assigned it. Most books they assign kids in high school are worn out and included by education bureaucrats who want to keep their jobs. High schoolers don't give a fuck about Anne Frank or Huckleberry Finn.

She's currently watching Fly Away Home while wearing an early '60s-style sleeveless sundress with a band in her hair.

I'm starting to think Heaven for people my age is lolling around in diapers, watching endless episodes of Muppet Babies and Garfield and Friends (with period-correct commercials and bumpers) or playing NES while eating Fruity Pebbles.

Just be glad I'm not regaling you with tales of my imaginary daughter's various adventures and outfits.

Sensitive as a goddam toilet seat

I love the smell of mildew (I'm not kidding).

When I didn't have something to do in SF, I went to the Haight, bought some weed, smoked out in Golden Gate Park, and went to Amoeba Records.

I'll bet ten dollars they're from Los Angel-ees.

Hope he didn't get the tattoo on his masturbating arm.

SLOWLY I TURNED….STEP BY STEP…..INCH BY INCH……

I hope this one is about one invincible being punching another invincible being who wants to take over the world.

He has a Trailblazer now, but he had a Ford Explorer for about 10 years…a pretty lame choice after having two Audis, a Jaguar, and a Porsche 914 before that.

More superheroes. Boring.

Or the Pig and Whistle. Good shepherd's pie.