"You know, your son looks like a f*g to me. You better get re-married again, or he's gonna have someone's cock in his mouth before you can say Jack Robinson!"

I prefer the "slap the dick out of your mouth" line from Mr. Show, but that's verboten now because it implies women are prostitutes, that women should feel ashamed for giving blowjobs, and that there is something wrong with being a sex worker.

Eating the lasagna. People can forgive anything except if you're fat.

Skunk pussy.

"Ummmmm….I'm here from Wisconsin….uh, the wife and I decided to visit Japan, and it's wonderful, a beautiful country, everyone's been great…and the concierge at our hotel asked us if we wanted to be on a game show, so we thought we'd be in the audience for a game show….DOES ANYONE HERE SPEAK ENGLISH?"

Now I'm thinking of that behind-the-scenes view of the Itchy and Scratchy studio in Korea where the animators are kept in line with bayonet-wielding soldiers.

If that asshole Zuckerberg really was concerned about people, he'd pay those people a living wage or, better yet, employ Americans at a living wage.

"He's the lowest kind of person in the world. Somebody's got to do something to him. He's the scum of the earth. He's the worst…sucking scum I have ever seen. You know what he told me about you? He's calling you names! He called you a little piece of chicken."

I know we all love Colbert, but I doubt the word "cocksucker" or "cock holster" would go over well here if any of us used it.

The other triggers are Martin Shkreli and Ryan Seacrest.

That's a good one. You get to see what Hume Cronyn looked like when he wasn't an old man, Theresa Russell is really cute in it, it's one of Joseph Cotten's best roles, and it even has a Putter in it with glasses.

Offsite work can be pretty cool. As long as you're in by deadline, you can drink, smoke pot, wear women's clothing, eat a whole lasagna with your hands, call in bomb threats to day care centers, and post on the AV Club all day long. Not a bad way to make a living.

Could you please not put any pic of Mark Zuckerberg up, even when he doesn't have a stupid look on his face? It's triggering.

I like them both, but I can't get over Key's double name. Can't we just call him Keegan; does it have to be Keegan-Michael?

"Hmmmm…it appears to be cigar butts in a gallstone sauce…"

I, uh, think I ran over a Wookiee back there…

Does it have Shadow of a Doubt? Because that's a really good Hitchcock movie.

In that case:

My favorite Ben Burtt sound effect is that synth ostinato when the Ark burns the swastika off the crate in the tramp steamer's hold. It's the sound that plays in my head when I've had a lot to drink and I find someone staggering home from the bars, right before I snap their neck and throw them in a dumpster.

"If this is a consular ship, where is the ambassador?"