I expected the following plots, which never happened:

I wish my heart wasn't broke, but I'm glad I was loved once. Nothing else in this world can compare to have someone love you. To need their body and have them before it becomes everything.

I fell in love to this
I loved a women and she loved me for a little while listening to some of this as well as Enon. I got my heart broke and it never healed. They tell you that time heals all wounds, but it doesn't. Some broken hearts don't mend. Someone else said it - "Ships at a distance have every man's wish on…

The novel was better. When the asshole stretcher is onscreen, it just felt like a "Transformers" style exercise in hubris.

guh
My Picks

When is a director just going to say "fuck it" and have a reaction shot of a dog rubbing it's eyes in disbelief.

And Eddie, I want you on top of that building. If you do get plugged, throw yourself off screaming.

Here's the Cosmo editor running out when Nathin opened the door.
Mascara running, all she can think of is the shower that will make her "clean again".

I made an ASCII picture of this walking rapist poster.

Was it creepy hanging out with this perv? Did he leer at any women while quietly whispering "Daddy Like" Look at the picture. Is this a guy you would even trust with an elderly Woopi Goldberg? I think not.

In honor of the Derby, what would celebrities name horses they owned?

That Samuel Jackson photo looks like a still from a lifetime movie:

"Did you send those thousand roses to Bea Arthur's grave?"

as it turns out
is her boyfriend scared of breaking up with her? she could accuse him of statutory rape.

Prison Wine, you are the cure for the daily blues.

In deference to the Junior Commenter "Lincoln's Revenge" from the great state of Illinois, I was not trying to do that. I was thinking of how funny it would be if there were 2 billy rays (regular billy ray and "lester") for the 2 mileys ("hannah" and miley) and what would happen if there if "lester" tried to pimp out…

Is there only one Billy Ray?
Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.

There used to be these great movie theaters in Paris, Texas. 3 of them. They were massive and empty, guarded by forlorn teenagers. You could look around in the emptiness to make sure you weren't imagining it. The rain on a Saturday afternoon sounded like a tin roof. I've gone everywhere looking for that feeling.

There were blue flames
burning the sheets of his bed.
He ran through the flames
towards the only two people he loved.
But they were gone.

He just left her there,he went back to bed
and lay there and listening to her scream.
And he listened to his son scream.